Scene 1: (outside the house)- morning/afternoon
Dad: "we can make this work"
Priest: (waving) "Hello neighbours"
(walk into the house)
Scene 2: (inside the house) -evening
Mom: (sighs) "Finally done, just this room left"
Dad: "Do you need any help"
Mom: "No...it's fne"
(Dad leaves)
Mom: (grunts) "why...is this door... soo..."
(dad comes)
Dad: "Get out the way"
(Dad grunts while struggling to open the door
(Door opens)
(Mom and Dad cough)- making grunting noises
Dad: "What's that..." (points towards the doll sitting in the window sill)
Mom: "awhhh she's cute" (mother slowly going to pick up the doll)
(Daughter 1 nters room running and picks up the doll before the mother)
Daughter 1: (shouting) "can I have it? can I have it? pleaseeee!"
(THUD)
Scene 3: (Night)
(Mother tucking in daughter 1)
Mom: "Are you sure you want to emm... sleep with this doll"
Daughter 1: "Yess mom... I love this doll"
Mom: (sighs) "alright then"
Daughter 2: "Mom... can you shut the light now"
Mom: "Can you get off your phone first please!"
Daughter 2: (kisses teeth and rolls her eyes) "okay... I will" (mutters under her breath)
(Camera cuts to the downstairs scene in the living room)
Dad: "Are they all settled in upstaires"
Mom: "yeh, but... I don't think I am"
Dad: "It's okay, we'll all settle don sooner or later, I'll make sure of it"
Mom: "I mean, I know the girls are fine, and I know with your love it'll al be good"
(Dad nods)
Mom: "you know what Aaron I think we're gonna be here for a long time" (she smiles)
(Daughter 1 flies into the wardrobe)
Scene 4:
Daughter 2:(screams) "moooom, daaaad...."
(parents run up the stairs out of breath) "what happened"
(close up of daughter 1's face)- she growls
(family screams)
Mom: "call the priest... NOW"
(priest enters)
Priest: (shouts)"James 4:7, 1 peter 5:8, mark (:38, Matthew 12:22" (biblical verses)
(Screaming)
Daughter2: "where are we going? where are we going?"
Mom: "please she won't hurt us!"
Daughter 2: "mom... she's dangerous"
Dad: "Everyone..... STOP RUNNING"
(JUMP SCARE)
(they are looking for the daughter)
(they look in every single room)- jump scare inside the room
Dad: "get in here... it's safe"
Daughter 2: "Dad I don't know about this"
Dad: "JUST GET IN"
Daughter 2: "Dad...... w-wh-hat's thatt"
(close up of daughter 1's face)- daughter smiles
Scene 5: (graveyard)
Daughter 1 screams into the camera
CREDITS ROLE
Shweta, you don't need quotation marks in a script so remove these.
ReplyDeleteYou do need capital letters in the right place, and you need to proof read your work carefully.
I'm not sure what scene is all about - 'we can make this work' and then a random priest saying 'hello neighbours?' I'm confused.
In scene three its states that the daughter flies into the wardrobe? What exactly is happening here? Confusing.
Scene 4 states 'call the priest' and then the priest comes straight in? Was he waiting in the wardrobe or is he superman?
There is not enough detail here, and the story looks a bit thin. You need to consider your stage directions in more detail, remember the stage directions should be advice for your actors so they know exactly how to perform their lines - it's more than just their voice - you need to consider their behaviour and positioning. Are they moving around? What are they doing? How are they delivering their lines? How are the parts of the scene transitioning?
Your final film idea states that the one daughter isn't happy with the move - but this doesn't seem to be evident in your script? You state that she rolled her eyes and sucks her teeth but how will the audience know it's because she doesn't want to live there. You need to include this scene in your film so the audience have some background information to work with.
ReplyDelete